No I don’t want to!

I will never forget when my coach Robin Walters told me to go look in the mirror and I said “No, I don’t want to.” She asked me why and I said because I don’t want to and I can’t look in the mirror. I don’t like her right now. She told me to go look anyways and face the pain no matter how hard it is! It was the first time I had ever told a coach I didn’t want to do something and I was adamant.

That was a year ago when I was going through some major shit in my own life. Anything that could go wrong did. I was manifesting anything bad that I could, not that I wanted to, but when I looked back at everything that happened, I had thoughts about it before it happened. I was dealing with my divorce and that relationship was getting worst not better. I had a minor car accident, made some stupid business decisions that cost me $3000 and a potential $50K loss minimum, moved into a new house and doubled my expenses, a childhood friend committed suicide and that’s the short list of what I was dealing with. 

It just felt like anything bad I thought about would happen, but then I started realizing that if I could manifest bad stuff, obviously I could manifest good stuff too. Right? Lots of people manifest good stuff so obviously I could too even though I was going through all this major shit at one time.

I hired my coach and with her coaching she helped me to shift my thoughts so I would think about good stuff I wanted to have happen to me. I started keeping track of good stuff that was starting to happen, like getting speaker bookings and even little things like manifesting a journal or a friend to call and visit me. Sure enough more great stuff started happening than bad stuff and then I realized that I was a great manifester. I had faith again that my life wasn’t going to be in the pits forever, it was just a temporary blip and then I’d be back on track. 

One day when I was traveling from Texas back to my home in Alberta Canada, I had a layover in the Denver airport. As I got off the plane, I thought to myself, I wonder who I will run into in the airport today and then I heard my little voice say, “No way, you won’t…” but then I stopped myself from thinking that because I have run into people I know in the airport before. It’s not unusual for that to happen to me. 

I went and sat down in the restaurant and not even 10 minutes later, my brother walked into the restaurant and said “Hey sister what are you doing here?” Neither one of us had any clue that we were traveling at the same time and that there was even the slightest chance of us being in the same airport at the same time. I just laughed at myself because of what I said 10 minutes earlier and sure enough it happened.

On that same trip, I was in my hotel and I realized I forgot my toothbrush, hairbrush and a journal. So I said to myself, how am I going to get those items tonight? I want to somehow get a journal and I want to get it tonight and for free. Later that evening I went to the opening ceremonies and I sat at the table with another lady and a friend of hers gave her a journal. It was a beautiful journal and I said to her “Wow, I love that journal.” She then said to me, “Do you want one? I bought six like this last night, I’ll give you one.”

Then after that she drove me to the store to buy a hair brush and tooth brush. So I manifested all three items in one night and I got the journal for free. I loved when that happened because it confirmed with me that yes, I truly could manifest good things into my life too. So can you!

Everyone can manifest whatever they want, you just have to ask for it. Just ask yourself “How can I…” Don’t ask the question “how” and expect the answer right away. You just need to ask it so that your heart and soul can start searching for the answer.

What are you doing in your life? How are you manifesting things into your life?

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Success in High Heels

I always love it when people ask me to be on their internet shows. Firstly, I get to look like a cave woman and not get all dressed up, secondly, I love when the interviewees come up with new great questions that I haven’t thought about.  Thirdly, I love seeing where the conversation goes. When I’m on internet shows I seem to get this incredible energy and I never know where it’s going to take me or the direction of the show. 

Yesterday was one of those shows. We were supposed to talk about the new book I’m a contributing author in called Success in High Heels (authored by Christine Marmoy), but then ended up talking all about passion and purpose and how there are times when we’re faced with major life-changing decisions that we just have to face. We did end up talking about the book and why I wanted to be a part of it, but it really ended up talking about why it’s so important to follow your passion in life.

Thank you Lorwai – for having me on your show a third time. I truly appreciate the opportunity to share with you and your listeners. You always ask me these awesome questions that make me think. Below is the link to the show:

http://yourmoneyandyourmindset.com/lorwai-tan-phd/passion-and-purpose/kell-falardeausuccess-in-high-heels/

Welcome to the Book Launch of Self Esteem Doesn’t Come in a Bottle

THANK YOU EVERYONE! BY PURCHASING THIS BOOK, YOU HAVE HELPED ME TO REACH THE BESTSELLER STATUS IN ONE DAY OF RELEASING THE BOOK.

 

Click here to purchase your copy of Self Esteem Doesn’t Come in a Bottle.

TO LISTEN TO KELLY’S STORY:

Kelly Falardeau’s story

A portion every sale will go to help burn children go to burn camp in Africa!

Thank you to Troy Payne for writing this song (You’re Beautiful) based on my new book Self Esteem Doesn’t Come in a Bottle, to his band of teenagers “Aside from Sorrow” and thank you to Travis Cross from TecPro for creating Troy’s fabulous video.

I also want to thank my 50+ friends who wrote their ‘secrets’ to their self-esteem and helped me with my book – it never would have happened without your support.

((Hugs))
Kelly

p.s.  You may also be interested in my first book ‘No Risk No Rewards’, Click here to purchase it. This book is my journey of how I went from near-death to success.

p.p.s. Once you purchase either book, email me at mykellyf@gmail.com and receive your free BONUS gifts.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

 Yesterday, I decided to step into my daughter’s room and look for some bottles of “stuff” that I could use for a video that I want to do to promote my new book ‘Self Esteem Doesn’t Come in a Bottle.’ Although I couldn’t see the floor because it was covered with her other “stuff”, I ended up stopping when I  saw her mirror.

I was shocked and nearly brought to tears when I saw it. Her mirror had yellow stickies all over it and in the middle it said “I AM ME” in big huge letters.  There’s stickies that say bubbly, crazy, pretty, beautiful, wonderful, perfect, amazing and other great empowering words. The one that hit me the most was when I saw the sticky that said “Greater than Great” which is a term that I made up and have been using for the past year.

The reason her mirror had such an effect on me is because for the longest time I didn’t want kids. I didn’t think it would be fair to bring a kid into this cruel world and was worried that they would be exposed to the harsh realities of how cruel and mean kids can be and then have to spend years rebuilding their self-esteem.

I didn’t want my kids to have to go through what I did and have to endure years of teasing and staring and wondering if I’d ever be pretty enough or good enough. I grew up believing that I was the ugly scar-faced girl. I could never be considered pretty or beautiful and if I got told I was, it was
by an aunt or my mom or grandma. I wanted a “guy” to call me beautiful, not a family member. I knew they would think I was beautiful no matter what I looked like. I wanted an outsider to call me beautiful.

The other reason this is profound for me is because my mom and I had a very challenging few years when I was a teenager and believe me, if my daughter ever talks to me the way I did to my mom, she’s going to be in trouble! And one of the concerns both Max and I had was the relationship I would have with our daughter. We’ve been expecting her and I to butt heads, but so far, life with my daughter has been great.

She has taught me some wicked lessons in life. I know she’s watched me succeed and fail many times. She’s seen me take a concept and make it
become a reality, only to be shattered because I couldn’t get through an obstacle no matter how hard  I tried. She’s seen me with my head down and crying my eyes out because her brother had bugged me one more time to go buy him a toy he had to have, but we didn’t have money for. She dragged me out of bed when she was 2 years old and I had just lost our stillborn baby at 28-weeks, Aleisha. She kept me alive at that point. If it hadn’t of been for her, I don’t think I’d be alive.

When I lost my baby girl, all I wanted to do was sleep and cry and blame myself for her death. She was inside me, of course it had to be my
fault.  Alex was only 2 at the time, Max had gone to work and she wanted to be fed, so she pulled my arm and dragged me out of bed so I could get up and look after her. I remember my mom calling me and saying how upset she was that she hadn’t seen her granddaughter in a few days and that I was being selfish by not letting her see her. When my baby died, I cut myself off from my whole family including my mom. I couldn’t let anyone see me grieve, only two friends and my dad got through to me at that time.

I finally phoned my mom and told her, “I’m not keeping her away from you, I am grieving, I’m not being selfish, and she is the only thing that is keeping me alive right now.” And truly, that was the truth. She was the one physically dragging me out of bed in the morning.

At the time, I also didn’t understand that my mom was grieving the loss of a granddaughter, but I couldn’t handle her grief. I couldn’t handle
my own, never mind hers too and that’s why I couldn’t be with her, she would cry and then I would cry and I just wanted the crying to stop. Eventually we got through the pain and I realized that my baby dying was a “gift.” She was a gift to my family in heaven who now have a granddaughter to spoil and a gift to us here on earth – we ended up having a set of identical twin boys, Cody and Parker. We never would have had more kids if she had been born, we would have stopped at two girls.

So, here’s what I believe – moms and daughters need to spend more time bonding and finding things they like to do together. When I had my mobile scrapbook store, Alex watched me take it from concept to completion and would come with me as much as she could. Then when I sold that business and decided that speaking was my true passion, she watched me grow and develop that business too. She saw me working hard on my computer, she saw my passion and she saw me perservere and believed that dreams are meant to be found, not tucked away in Dreamland.

She watched me face my fear of walking the plank in front of hundreds of people when I said I wanted to meet Ben Barry because he was a sponsor of the event. She saw that when I said I wanted to write a book about inner beauty I finished it. She also protected me when her best friend at the time called me “ugly.” She also watched me fail in many ways, but what she saw first and foremost is that no matter what, I didn’t quit being me. I may have chosen a new path to get there, but I didn’t give up on me and I’ll never give up on her either.

And so one of my passions is mothers and daughters and the relationships they have and in February, 2012 I’m organizing a mother/daughter retreat.

My Favorite Law: The Law of Reciprocation

I still remember the day that Darren Jacklin told me about the Law of Reciprocation and that law states that when you help others first, they want to help you back. I didn’t really understand how it worked until I noticed it working for me. I wanted to succeed in business, how could I help others succeed first before I succeed? And it doesn’t just work in business, it also works in self esteem too.

Have you noticed that most times when you smile at someone they smile back? Have you noticed that when you compliment someone they
want to compliment you back? Or have you noticed that when you help someone feel great about themselves they want to help you feel great too?

I also noticed that when I helped others succeed that I’m succeeding too. Another example of the Law of Reciprocation working for me is when my friend Troy Payne asked me to help him with his bestseller campaign for his new book. He asked if I could be a campaign partner and I immediately said yes, I would love to. I offered him a free ebook that could be used as a bonus gift, plus I also blogged about his book and promoted it on Facebook and Twitter.

Do you know what Troy said? Firstly, he thanked me and then he said that he couldn’t wait to help me succeed with my bestseller campaign that I’m going to do this fall on my new book ‘Self Esteem Doesn’t Come in a Bottle.’

I have noticed that the more I offer to help others, the more they want to help me too. How awesome is that??? Exactly like the law says, help others first and in return they will help you.

Every day I practice this law and it’s working for me and I’m positive it will work for you too. So, how are you going to apply the Law of
Reciprocation in your life?

 

A Leap of Faith

It was time for my annual performance review and I have to admit, it wasn’t a good one. The year before was fantastic, but this one wasn’t. There was definitely a change in me. Over the past six months, I got a promotion to a new job, got a new supervisor (that I wasn’t enjoying working with), ended my marriage of 24-years plus last week lost my job. I felt like no matter how hard I tried to do well in my job, something would sabotage me.

I would have meltdowns in my office and text my best friend and say, “What is wrong with me, how come I can’t do anything right at work?” No matter how hard I tried, I felt like I was just getting beat up and being sabotaged. I would cry and all the while wishing that I was speaking and sharing my message.

The day before my performance review, I got an email from a lady saying how somehow she found my website and was drawn to me, she was magnetized to me and when she read my website, she felt like she had known me forever. She had to connect and still doesn’t know why or how it all happened.

And then another day a burn survivor wanted to talk to me about being burned and pregnant and we talked for an hour on the phone and I felt so great. It was so rewarding and I felt awesome, but then when I went to work I felt useless.

I knew I was going to quit my job, but I didn’t know if I could or when the right time would be and I wanted to have a few more bills paid. And for the past two weeks every time I looked on Facebook I would get little messages about following my passion fully or taking the leap or making dreams happen.

I got Today’s Business Woman magazine and in it was an article about how you should learn to trust that God is going to provide you what you need and why don’t you trust him? It was weird and I kept telling the universe to leave me alone, I wasn’t ready for that leap, but then my boss made me take the leap.

I knew a change was in order, and every day I kept thinking, when is it the right time, what do I need to do and I set some goals for myself and said, ok, when this happens I’ll quit, but I didn’t get a chance to. My big boss called me into the office and said how shocked she was that my
performance wasn’t as great as the year before and we had a long talk about it.

And she said, “Kel, listen to yourself, if someone came to you and said my passion brings me tons of joy and happiness and makes me feel great but my job makes me feel miserable, what advice would you give them?” And I said, “I know, you’re right, but I’m scared of not having a regular pay cheque while I’m building my speaking business and writing my new book.” And then she said to me (while choking back the tears), “You know what you want and what you need to do and some times somebody else just has to make the decision for you.”

She told me to think of one question, “Are you going to be happy to come to work on Monday or relieved that you don’t have to come to work?” I thought about it and she was totally right and now I’m taking the leap of faith and being a speaker and author full time.

Now I have the time to finish my new book “Self Esteem Doesn’t Come in a Bottle” and will be on track to do my bestseller campaign in October. I’m also going to create an action guide and audio program about self esteem to go along with the book. I’m also looking for corporate
sponsors who would like to have an advertisement in my book and audio program.

So, it’s time to be FIERCE and live up to my title of Fierce Woman of the Year. Although I’m a little bit scared, I’m excited about the possibilities for the future. I know it’s going to be exciting and I’m thankful that my boss gave me the push I needed to take the Leap of Faith.

Give Yourself Permission to say, “I feel great today.”

Yesterday, I had the great honour of speaking at one of @amanda welliver’s self esteem workshops for teenagers at the Aboriginal reserve near Cold Lake. Now, this girl knows how to put on a great self esteem workshop! Wow is all I
can say – for people who tell me content is king, she is the king of kings; and I was only at her level 1 workshop, I can’t imagine how kickass level 2 and 3 are.

Amanda wanted me to come and share my story with her students and I of course said sure, how can I help? I had two hours to share my story to 17 teenagers. Yikes! What was I going to do? I thought I could just talk for 2 hours, but I realized I needed to find a way to keep them engaged and good thing I’m a packrat because I still had some scrapbooking stuff in my van. I took my exercises and made them into physical, tangible, creative products that the kids got to take home and they loved it.

Compliment Exercise

I got the kids to do the compliment exercise and wow, that was so powerful. One of the girls got up and went over and gave another girl a big giant hug. I don’t know what she said to her, but it was powerful. It was great watching
everyone’s eyes light up when they got their compliments from eachother. I could tell they were enjoying the exercise even though they found it hard to “receive” the compliments.

I asked them to share their experience and how the compliments made them feel. One girl said, it felt great and another girl said, she didn’t like getting the compliments. And I said, “Yes of course, receiving a compliment is
very hard for us to do because we’re taught to be humble and that we’re not supposed to feel great about ourselves and we’re not supposed to brag about ourselves and we’re not supposed to show off. So it’s really hard for us to
receive and accept compliments because we’re not supposed to feel good about ourselves.”

Give Yourself Permission

I told them that I was giving them permission to look in the mirror and say, “I feel great.” They don’t have to shout it out to the world, they just have to give themselves permission to feel great. (Thank you to @Danielle LaPorte for her article on “giving yourself permission”, it totally helped me to give myself permission)

The funny thing is, today I did that, I gave myself permission to tell myself I looked great. I put on my best hot ass jeans, did my hair and said, “Wow, you look hot today.” I could have said, “Hey, you still have that muffin top going on with your belly and you still have those ugly scars on your face, who is going to think you’re beautiful today when you look like that?”, but nope, I said to myself, “Wow, look at you looking so hot today, want to go on a
date?”

Empower others instead of Picking on Them or Yourself

We need to find ways to empower each other and spread good gossip about each other. Too often we try to find the negatives in people and knock them down. How about finding the great things about them and making them feel great? You’ll feel great too when you empower people not knock them down. I know I do. It felt great telling a teenager that she had great hair and that I loved it. She LOVED getting the compliment because she thought she had great hair too. She loved the validation that someone else thought she had great hair. She had this fantastic smile on her face and said, “yes I think I have great hair too.” Can you imagine how she would have felt if I would have told her, “your hair is a little weird.” (Because seriously, she did have a different color than most people and a few
people probably did think that way) I helped to empower her and feel great about herself, I felt awesome and so did she. Quit picking on yourself and calling yourself names! (that is actually a chapter in my new self esteem book)

It’s not about You, it’s about Them

Yesterday’s workshop taught me something else, something a few of my mentors have told me, like Jack Zufelt, Darren Jacklin, Kathleen Mailer, Jo Ann Vacing and Cheryl Cran; when you’re a speaker, it’s not about you, it’s about them.
It’s all about what you can give them to help change their life. I felt happy that I was able to help them even in a very small way. I don’t speak on stage because I want to be the center of attention, I speak because I want people to
learn how to feel great about themselves and to stop letting other people’s opinions affect them.